Tag Archives: social intelligence

Vincent’s extreme empathy to his end

My favorite painter is Vincent van Gogh. I speak to 6 different patterns of creativity in my recent book, which flow from our head, heart and gut intuition. We all have a dominant center of creativity, a supportive center and a 3rd center, which we use less confidently in our creativity. I believe Vincent’s brilliant pattern was: A “Dominant Feeler” (heart center) and this was supported by his rapid intuition (gut center), followed by his third center of “thinking” (head center). Vincent van Gogh is an exemplar of this pattern. I explain why in my book and include a short excerpt here.

Born in the Netherlands, he was a preacher’s son. He followed in his father’s footsteps and became a preacher himself. Vincent soon realized he was too empathetic to work with the poor immigrants he was ordained to serve. Instead, he became one of them (heart domination).

He did not begin painting until his late twenties, completing many of his best-known works during the last two years of his life. In approximately a decade, he produced more than 2,100 art works (heart/gut pattern). His swiftly painted impressionist work was notable for its rough beauty, emotional honesty and bold color. He said, “As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed…”

Vincent lived his “extreme empathy” pattern out his entire life. I believe until his last dying breath. History dictated he committed suicide–but did he really?

New research indicates Vincent did not commit suicide in the end, but was likely shot on July 27, 1890 by a neighborhood bullyboy by accident. Researchers believe a sixteen-year-old boy named Rene Secretan, whose tormenting of van Gogh included buying him drinks, fired the fatal shot. The research questions whether the artist, who was known to have spent time in an insane asylum, could have gotten a gun. Police never found van Gogh’s painting gear or the gun at the wheat field (which was one mile from the lodge) where he said he shot himself. Van Gogh had also written he considered suicide “sinful and immoral.”

This was only four days after Vincent had written his beloved brother of his renewed and determined interest in painting. The new theory is Vincent tried to protect the merciless boy and cover up the shooting by saying, “Do not accuse anybody, it is I that wished to commit suicide” (Adeline Ravoux, 1956). Vincent’s doctor, Paul Gachet, confirmed he was in a good period and had improved psychologically in the very end. He grieved at his funeral and said admiringly, “an honest man and a great artist… who had only two aims, art and humanity.”

So close was Theo’s legendary relationship to his brother that he “fell gravely ill” almost immediately after his death and was dead some months after. His body is buried next to Vincent’s in Auvers.

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This theory contradicts old ones that Vincent went mad. As does Adeline Ravoux’s account of his last months, “He never drank alcohol. I insist on this point. The day of his suicide, he was not in the least intoxicated, as some claim. When I later learnt that he had been interned in an asylum for lunatics in the Midi, I was very surprised, as he always appeared calm and gentle in Auvers. He was well respected at our place. We called him familiarly ‘Monsieur Vincent.’”

Vincent died in the Ravoux’s second floor bedroom. Read Adeline Ravoux’s personal account of how Vincent died on the sad night of July 27, 1890. There is still no consensus on how Vincent died, as experts “cannot yet agree” with the new research conclusions about the painter’s death.

What if—van Gogh had developed or emphasized his “hidden” (or less used) rational center earlier in his creative life—or was able to get help for his mental health? We can only guess what the results would be. Why does he touch me so deeply? His confident command of color and commitment to painting the beauty he saw (in the moment) was genius; his magnificent paintings profoundly hit all three of my centers. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. He said he did this by, “…a succession of little things that are brought together.” He ultimately transcended the negativity of his inner “head” critic. This mysterious, utterly humble, and wild man who roamed the fields of Provence makes me cry. He is a true hero whom I can always draw inspiration from.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxHnRfhDmrk[/youtube]

Thank you for reading my post. I am a consultant living in the mountains of Santa Fe, New Mexico. My core message of everyone is creative resonates with people of all ages and walks of life. I invite all to become the best version of themselves in my recent book and website, and find true meaning by pursing long term creative quests.

Velcro and Teflon Creativity

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Which of your three creative centers–head, heart or gut–are you being negative to?

The secret to creativity might be summed up in a cheesy neuroscience joke: “The neurons that fire together, wire together.” When we disrespect what one of our intelligence centers is saying to us by automatically responding negatively to it, we are shutting that source of creativity down:

“My gut is always wrong, I never listen to it.”

“Listening to my heart will only cause severe pain and bleeding.”

“I think too much, I shouldn’t listen to my head but only act.”

“It’s a classic saying, and it’s widely accepted because it’s very true,” says neuropsychologist Rick Hanson. “We’ve got this negativity bias that’s a kind of bug in the stone-age brain in the 21st century,” he says. “It makes it hard for us to learn from our positive experiences, even though learning from your positive experiences is the primary way to grow inner strength.”

There are consequences of our highly interconnected head/heart and gut intelligence centers. Scientists believe our brains have a built-in “negativity bias.” The reason is pretty simple. Since we evolved over millions of years, dodging sticks and chasing carrots (rewards), it was more important to notice, react to, and remember sticks than it was for carrots. It was a tough environment for our ancestors. If they missed out on a carrot, it likely would not kill them; but if they failed to avoid a stick, such as a predator, a poisonous plant, a natural hazard, or overly aggressive fellow caveman, then BAM!, fat chance to pass on their genes.

Our negativity bias shows up in lots of ways. For example, studies have found in a relationship, it typically takes five good interactions to make up for a single bad one. People will work much harder to avoid losing 100 dollars than they will work to gain the same amount of money. Painful experiences are much more memorable than pleasurable ones.

The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones. It is said approximately 80 percent of our (up to) 70,000 thoughts per day are negative. This is good and bad news for creativity. Our brains are tilted against lasting contentment and fulfillment. This means our memory banks are full of underlying expectations, assumptions, beliefs, and especially our moods—which automatically move in a negative direction. Mother Nature only cares about passing on genes; she doesn’t care if this means painful suffering in the process. Suffering includes subtle worries to intense feelings of sorrow, worthlessness, or anger and creating suffering for others. Naturally being wired to acquire negative experiences over positive ones, can make us more anxious, irritable, and blue. But these “sticky” emotions also create a deep well for us to draw upon and funnel into creative outlets. Such lack of contentment can result in a felt need and a motivation to create.

“I have the memory of an elephant. I can forgive, but I cannot forget. It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Perhaps the Velcro theory is why Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous elephant quote about her philandering husband makes sense. We are wired to hold onto the negative experience, even if we willfully (from our gut center) try not to. Mrs. Roosevelt exemplifies our need to take the negative and create something new. This is exactly what she did after discovering FDR’s first affair with her own private secretary. Her personal journals expose from this point forward, any remaining intimacy left their relationship. Up to this point she was willing to be a traditional wife, mother of their five children, and homemaker. After this very painful breach of trust, Eleanor established a separate house, and increasingly devoted herself to becoming a human rights and social justice entrepreneur. This included being a pioneer in the womens’ suffrage and African American Civil Rights movements. She was no ordinary first lady–I believe the most entrepreneurial one of all!

Eleanor knew how to make lemonade from potent lemons in her life

Perhaps an even more severe example of “making lemonade” is shown in the video below. This one will blow your mind for sure!

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=8&v=IqV-egZOS1E[/youtube]

However, on a day to day basis, many of us don’t stay with our positive experiences long enough for them to be encoded into neural structure (meaning there’s not enough wiring and firing going on). On the other hand, we naturally tend to fixate on negative experiences. Positive and negative emotions use different memory systems in the brain, according to Hanson, and positive emotions don’t transfer as easily to long-term memory.

So we easily filter to see the tough parts of life. We can learn to bear negativity by intentionally tilting towards healthy creative outlets. This will lift our energy and spirits and use our resources. But we have to intentionally fill up our cups because positive experiences will wash through us like sieves. Please see a previous post on how to fight ANTS (automatic negative thoughts).

The more we get our neurons firing on positive facts, the more we’ll be wiring up positive neural structures. Intentionally focusing on “taking in the good” is a brain-science savvy and psychologically skillful way to improve how we feel, get things done creatively, and treat others consistently. By taking the positive in–from our head, heart and gut centers–and filling ourselves up with them, we will increasingly feel less fragile or needy inside, and less dependent on external supplies.

How good are you at creatively making lemonade from all the negative lemons in your life? Please share your insights on this, we all have “ANTS,” (mine can build huge mounds in my mind if left untended!)

Thank you for reading my post (excerpts from my recent book). My core message of everyone is creative resonates with people of all ages and walks of life. I invite all to become the best version of themselves in my book and at my website and find true meaning by pursing long term creative quests.

Dogs’ Creativity, Woof!

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“If dogs ruled the world” humans would play fetch, too! Wouldn’t you agree? In fact “fetch” would become a national and Olympic sport. The whole world would turn into a never ending dog park… with lots of good belly rubbing and tug-a-war included too.

If dogs ruled the world, all pertinent data would occur in a matter of seconds, no more tedious searching on the internet!

In my home our dogs DO rule our world. We photographed them as “Sheriff Finn” and “Deputy Bella” recently because that truly is who they are.

Both are weimaraner rescues: We adopted Finn first, a larger than normal male at a year old, now over 100 pounds and nine years old. We can only guess his name comes from the huge size of his paws. He is sheriff to us all. We must adore and obey him because… well he is King Finn, the lap dog after all.

Then there is deputy Bella, the all adoring (of Finn, we come second) and submissive deputy of eight years. If we don’t follow Finn’s orders she backs him up 110%–get with it you guys pronto!

Bred in Germany originally for hunting in the early 19th century they were used by royalty for hunting large game such as bear and deer. Later they were used for hunting smaller animals like birds, rabbits, and foxes. At our place they hunt for all these, also astute and quick at catching lizards, mice and flies. They are indeed flexible!

Weimaraners are not an independent breed and love to be with their owner, never leaving them alone–aka, “Velcro dogs.” When asked, “Do you allow them to sleep on your bed with you?” I reply, ‘oh yes, but mostly they are under the covers,’ I note we are in good company with William Wegman who responds likewise.

Weims (for short) were made famous by this photographer William Wegman, born in 1943. Wegman originally intended to pursue a career as a painter–that is until he got his dog, Man Ray. The two began a long and fruitful collaboration. Man Ray is known in the art world for his endearing deadpan presence… along came many more weims after him.

https://youtu.be/G9w22XdkE1M

Photo credit, William Wegman; Wegman’s dogs joyfully appeared in TV show Sesame Street (video)

Sure if dogs ruled, we’d be known as “dogs best friends…” But there is something more about dogs that can’t be pinned down… that deep bonding, “soulful” thing… captured in this video by Wendy Francisco.

My theory is that no one can empathize with us the way our dogs can due to their uncanny ability to read our body language and attune to our energy. Ask any dog trainer and they will tell you it’s far easier to teach a dog a behavior using a hand signal than using a spoken word. Why? Dogs are masters at reading our body language. For centuries, dogs have been carefully watching us to understand and anticipate our movements. This evolutionary effort got them the most food, helped avoid danger, and ensured they stayed on humans’ good side.

Honestly what wouldn’t your dog do for you? Evolutionary anthropologist Brian Hare speculates, “that the ability to read human body language was one of the traits selected when dogs were being domesticated,” (along with I’d say a severe “cuteness” factor). Those dogs best at reading people were more likely to be nurtured by humans and, therefore, be successful and reproduce. Scientifically this makes sense to me but still–does not explain that soulful unconditional (and unspeakable) bonding factor.

There are many kinds of service dogs, including guide dogs, hearing dogs, mobility dogs, seizure alert/response dogs, psychiatric service dogs, autism dogs, military dogs, drug and cancer sniffing dogs, the list goes on… I know many ex-vets that would not want to go on living without the dog (or dogs) that enable them to cope emotionally on a daily basis. Again one wonders… what can’t these creatures do? They certainly reach down into our souls the way no others can!

How is your dog goofy, fun and creative? Please share how they make you more creative!

Thank you for reading my post. My core message of everyone is creative resonates with people of all ages and walks of life. I invite all to become the best version of themselves in my recent book and at my website and find true meaning by pursing long term creative quests.

“Ask, Seek and Knock”: uses all 3 intelligence centers

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“Ask, seek, and knock.” These are Jesus’ iconic words: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Notice how our three intelligence centers are used differently here.

“Asking” comes from our head intelligence center and is cerebral and verbal; we ask for what we most need and want. Please, please, please I want to create something really beautiful!

“Seeking” focuses on our heart intelligence center. This is more than asking; it is an exploration of what will be most meaningful, authentic and satisfy/answer our heart’s emotions and desires.

To “knock” involves our body/gut intelligence center. It requires physical movement, one where we take action. Asking and seeking are essential (head and heart centers), however they would be incomplete without knocking (gut/body center). One of the exemplars in my book, Jackson Pollock knocked on a different artistic door– by painting vertically instead of horizontally– he broke convention with his gut centered creativity.

In my worldview, it’s good to pray and seek God, but if I do not also act in faith, all is for naught. It’s no accident Jesus said we should love God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind (all three intelligence centers). We know a universal law is, “we reap what we sow.” This is true in many world views, including the Buddhist Law of Karma and in the Holy Qur’an. In Hinduism, Karma is a causality system where beneficial effects are derived from past beneficial actions and harmful effects from past harmful actions.

Mute Swan, Loch Ard, Trossachs

When considering our creative pursuits it starts with asking and seeking– but ultimately it is about what we do, our executions, that eventually comes back to us in a transformed state. As a writer I am prolific in the “asking” mode with many questions (regarding my subject), which leads to intense and pleasurable researching, which in turn can lead me down wild goose chases… leaving my manuscript deserted of words for weeks or months. Or perhaps if I’ve shifted to the “seeking” mode, such as moving from nonfiction writing to “seeking” to do a fictional allegory for my next book– then I hit the wall. Major obstacle, overwhelmed. I am inexperienced in this style of writing and doubt my abilities.

I can stay stuck “seeking” and “asking” how to overcome obstacle(s) or I can KNOCK. Bang away by JUST WRITING, fully expecting my lack of confidence obstacle will transform into a door! A door which is the portal for me to write it my way. Its no time to be suffocating on my doubts and weak-kneed. I write in faith, which means pounding on that door boldly. If that door is not the portal for me, than I’ll pound on another door (idea) with my ideas in order to best tell my story. Because I have been asking and seeking, I believe the door will be opened for me. The process is cyclical, involving asking, seeking and knocking.

Creativity is not static, routine, repetitious or dull but is dynamic (involves many doors) and all three of our intelligence centers. The “knocking” will eventually open the right door and bring the “aha” moment needed for clarity.

What about you– do you find yourself doing more asking, seeking or knocking?

Thank you for reading my post. I am an organizational and business consultant living in the mountains of Santa Fe, New Mexico with my husband and dogs. My core message of everyone is creative resonates with people of all ages and walks of life. I invite all to become the best version of themselves and find true meaning by pursing long term creative quests.

Taking a risk means discomfort, not danger

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How do you think about risk? Do images of hang gliding or dying on Mount Everest come to mind? Does it mean an activity where one false move can mean death for you? The truth is risk doesn’t need to involve danger. Risk can also be defined as the intentional interaction with uncertainty. “Uncertainty is a potential, unpredictable, unmeasurable and uncontrollable outcome; risk is a consequence of action taken in spite of uncertainty” says Wikipedia. Risk can be defined as “activities with uncertain outcomes.”

The ability to take calculated risks is an essential human trait, crucial to our development. Our risk-taking ancestors were the successful survivors who took chances to adapt to their changing environment. And today, the same principle applies, “To grow, we need to experience challenges — whether we’re 4, 14, or 40” says psychologist Michael Ungar. I’d add–until our dying breath.

Facing things that make us uncomfortable has advantages, whether we succeed or fail: we become more emotionally resilient, confident, satisfied, and engaged with life. We don’t have to parachute from a plane (thank God!) to reap the benefits of taking risks. Choosing to be creative everyday means taking some risk. Any time we pay attention to areas of our life that feel challenging, lacking or intriguing to us– we can choose to take some risk. Whether that means being open to the universe to find a new mate after a divorce or to change our artistic medium in order to better express ourselves on an easel. We embrace the adventure of uncertainty. “Do one thing every day that scares you,” Eleanor Roosevelt said.

Will taking a risk cause anxiety? Yes!

Researcher Hans Selye found there are actually two kinds of stress: Distress is a negative stress and eustress is a positive stress. “Eustress,” or healthy anxiety motivates or focuses our energy. Healthy anxiety is “just right” anxiety; the kind we need to be creative. Too much anxiety becomes toxic to our performance, paralyzing it. Too little anxiety is toxic as well, as it puts us in an “I’m bored” state. So the level of risk we choose to take should include “just right” anxiety for us. This will look different for you than it does for me, but for both of us, it will involve a “stretch” from our head, heart or gut center (or all three).

Pioneer Danish philosopher, and father of existentialism, Søren Kierkegaard explains in his 1844 treatise that anxiety is the dizzying effect of freedom, of paralyzing possibility, of the boundlessness of one’s own existence. He writes, “Anxiety is altogether different from fear and similar concepts that refer to something definite, whereas anxiety is freedom’s actuality as the possibility of possibility.”

We intuitively know that our best learning occurs just beyond our comfort zone from our heart, head or gut perspective. That’s what happened to me when I left my corporate job after 19 years. I had to take a big risk, relinquish the golden handcuffs, and take a leap of faith into the deep unknown. Through the process I discovered more passions: living off the grid in the mountains, building a rustic cabin, trail running on old mining paths and meeting my soul mate whom I would marry. There is always a sense of satisfaction that emerges from trying something entirely new and proving ourselves to be capable of the task. Creativity is born!

Perhaps the coolest benefit of taking a risk is that it’s simply fun. Neuroscientists explain this bliss with biochemistry: New, challenging, and risky activities trigger the release of dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter that’s part of the brain’s reward system. Call risk taking the ultimate antidote to boredom. It’s the best way (I am aware of) to wake up and feel fully alive. We can have a say in our destiny—by taking a risk– versus being dominated by our circumstances. Indeed every chance we take teaches us something about ourselves and leads us mysteriously along our long term creative path.

Any risks you’ve taken you’d like to share– that reaped you benefits? Happy risk taking.

Thank you for reading my post. I am an organizational and business consultant living in the mountains of Santa Fe, New Mexico with my husband and dogs. I enjoy hiking and high desert gardening. My core message of everyone is creative resonates with people of all ages and walks of life. I invite all to become the best version of themselves and find true meaning by pursing long term creative quests.

Photo entries from the 2015 Sony World Photography Awards

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Each year the Sony World Photography Awards opens up a competition for photographers worldwide (https://www.worldphoto.org/about-the-sony-world-photography-awards/sony-world-photography-awards-2015-exhibition). Every year the entries are breath taking and eye opening. I’ve posted below some 2015 competition entries… Here are 7 of the best photos from the open category, which is open to novice, youth, and professionals. Which of these are you most drawn to? What does your head, heart and gut (uniquely) say about your favorites?

The one I’m most drawn to is first. Orangutan In The Rain. I can feel the misty rain in my body center (and it feels warm and soothing), my heart center melts, loves this sweet little guy and my head center is drawn in by his ingenuity. These are three distinct messages from each of my intelligence centers regarding this photo.

Orangutan In The Rain Indonesia-based Photographer Andrew Suryono shares of his magical photo, “I saw this Orangutan took a banana leaf and put it on top on his head to protect himself from the rain!” What is your head, heart, and gut reaction(s) to this photo?

Times Are Hard For Dreamers by Malaysian-based photographer Ahmad Zikri Mohamad Zuki captured this photo of a woman suspended in a whirlwind of feathers. What is your head, heart, and gut reaction(s) to this photo?

The Morning Ritual by Photographer Nick Ng from Malaysia took this photo in Kolkata, India where locals gather early in the morning to bathe in the Hooghly River. What is your head, heart, and gut reactions?

The Trace Of An Ancient Glacier by Miquel Ángel Artús Illana took this photo of the one road that ribbons throughout Denali, a six million acre stretch of wild land. The photo was taken in Autumn to highlight the remarkable landscape and vast array of colors. What is your head, heart, and gut reaction(s) to this photo?

“Hi… Who Are You?” by Georg May from Germany submitted his photo of a curious Blue Tit bird checking out its reflection in the water. What is your head, heart, and gut reaction(s) to this photo?

Hamer Man by Diego Arroyo Mendez of Spain captured this photo of a Hamer man collecting wood in Lower Omo Valley, Ethiopia. With the wood the man planned to build a defensive fence for cattle. What is your head, heart, and gut reaction(s) to this photo?

Timeless Affection by Arief Siswandhono, the girl in the picture is her daughter, Fina. Fina was once terrified of cats, but after her parents adopted 2 kittens her life was changed. Fina now considers the cats her best friends. What is your head, heart, and gut reaction(s) to this photo?

Isn’t it interesting the different messages our three intelligence centers relay to us about each picture?